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Smoke and Indeterminacy

I can finally see the hills around the bay area, which is so nice, to be able to go outside and breath again. The smoke haze around here has been pretty bad, bad enough that normal people had problems, but I'm apparently no longer in the normal category when it comes to air pollution, I now get to check the stupid sensitive box. Not that I've been having trouble breathing, that'll be the next escalation of symptoms, just burning throat and eyes, same response I have now to Ikea, Lowes, and Target.

Also I'm in the lovely indeterminate state of possible pregnancy that women exist in for two weeks out of every four, each with different probabilities and hopes. I'm convinced I am pregnant, no congratulations in order yet though, and I have no interest in taking a test. I think it would be lovely to go through the entire pregnancy just saying things like, 'signs point to yes', and 'to all appearances'. People are so interested in facts, and concrete observances. It's like due dates. Yes I knew my due date last time, but I refused to tell it to anyone... I got more specific as it got closer, but I felt that 'spring', or 'late spring', then 'May', were entirely enough information. Not everyone agrees with me. So am I pregnant? Who knows? Why commit to an answer? I had cramping for several days after presumed ovulation, and possible implantation cramps, and I've been craving salad and low on iron. But it isn't like early pregnancy is ever more than a state of probability. There's a reason people don't go around saying 'I'm pregnant!' in the first couple months. Something like 25% of pregnancies miscarry by the 6th week LMP. So I may very shortly exit the merry Schrödinger stage of pregnancy, or I may be here for a while longer. Either way is fine with me, if I shortly become non-pregnant again, I get to start over with the hopes and guesses, which at this stage, since I haven't been frustrated by inability yet, is still quite fun.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
angelbob
Jul. 1st, 2008 02:59 pm (UTC)
Well, um... Schrodinger's congratulations? :-)
shoebox_bird
Jul. 2nd, 2008 10:37 am (UTC)
Yes, what he said. :)
cyano
Jul. 1st, 2008 03:10 pm (UTC)
I am simultaneously happy for you and contentedly neutral for you!

rightkindofme
Jul. 1st, 2008 05:54 pm (UTC)
Last time I had reason to believe I might not be able to get pregnant. I'm looking forward to your state. :)
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )