Katherine Donaldson (katharos) wrote,
Katherine Donaldson
katharos

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Dreams and Choices

I had a dream last night about visiting Bryan. Unfortunately it ended before I got a tour of the house. :) I think I came unannounced, but somehow expected. He was in the stairwell to the second floor, which was painted a solid moss color, putting an outlet together. I helped him hold the bits while he screwed them in. Megan came in with cheerful and expansive plans for dinner. I snuck out and walked up a hill, over to the house 'next' to theirs, wondering secretly if it was still for sale. If it had been the real world, I would have been walking in completely the wrong direction, and the neighborhood was nothing like. It was a charming little street with false fronted 1800's buildings, only 100 feet apart. The house I actually went to look at was pretty amazing. It was an eccentric collection of doors and boxes, Curving back on itself and over itself. It's foyer was built over the public sidewalk, about 10'x6', with too many doors. It had a 3/4 protected courtyard because of the crazy way the building folded around itself. Brilliant place to live. And has nothing in common really, with the house actually for sale next to Bryan.

Unfortunately I woke up and never made it back for dinner. I still think wistfully about moving to Pittsburgh. Lots of things would be nice. But there are sooo many reasons to stay here too. I'm actually enjoying my job. Maybe because I'm busy. We're planning on having kids soon, and I have good benefits, and very flexible hours. Oh, but I saw the creek in my dream too, and it was very cute. Jesse's job is tiring, but I think he's learning a lot from it. And although it isn't his dream job anymore, he still has a lot of interest, and invested reputation, in the Palm handheld game. And I know where everything is. And I'm scared working with Bryan would burn me out. :D Mostly we're just all having fun where we are now. But at the same time, you look at how your decisions branch your life, and imagine where you could be, and the good things about that...

Maybe another three years here, a year in France, then the East Coast? Or maybe I'll continue making the null choice and be here forever.
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