March 28th, 2008


Cut everyone some slack.

I was reminded by a couple people today how important it is to cut yourself some slack, to forgive yourself for being broken, still holding the responsibility for fixing yourself, but acknowledging that it is not your fault that you are broken. That there are reasons that you are broken, and admitting that those reasons are valid is just as important as admitting that you are broken. That you are not fundamentally worthless and poor quality goods. This goes along with acknowledging that the people around you are probably also broken for a reason, and possibly more deserving of respect than you might like to admit sometimes, when it is convenient and satisfying to have easy opinions about everything and everyone. No, I'm not talking about any of you, but maybe I'm thinking about the scary man who mows my lawn (the landlords hired the gardener who employs this person.) He is a mumbling shambling man who pushes a shopping cart around our neighbor hood, is probably homeless, and mows my lawn. He scares me not for any good reason, but only because he mumbles and shambles and is dirty and pushes a shopping cart full of grungy belongings down my street and I have a very small daughter I feel protective of. The two times I have had occasion to speak to him he has been embarrassingly respectful. Embarrassing perhaps because I have issues with employing people to do things for me, I just don't come from that kind of family, I don't know how to treat them, yes decently of course, but the protocol is all foreign, and I hate people being in my space, my gut reaction is to skitter out of the house when our cleaners come, (yes we have cleaners who come every other week and I find it quite embarrassing yet practical), and feel exiled until they are gone. So apparently these are my issues and not mr. lawnmower's flaws, I'm sure he has a very interesting history to go with his proliferation of tattoos.