Katherine Donaldson (katharos) wrote,
Katherine Donaldson

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Times of Change

New Years Eve was very windy and blustery here. It has been a windy and blustery several days actually, I like it. I always like wind, and at this time of imaginary calendar significance it emphasizes the feeling of a time of change. Not that my bad habits ever change. I have a pile of cards I wanted to write and send out for the Solstice, and I've only written one of them so far. Also I need to be more kind to people who remind me of my own faults. Or at least remind myself more often, honestly, that they annoy me because they point out my own flaws, more than the flaws themselves annoy me.

It is also a time of change for me because I'm pregnant. Something that was supposed to go in my Solstice cards, but I know my own track record for paper communication, and if I make everyone rely on that, they will never find out. I was a month (or a month and a half depending on which stupid counting convention you're using) pregnant at Bryan's wedding, but we weren't telling anyone then. Now I'm half way there, and due in mid May. So, no, I won't be in Pittsburgh for Carnival, since it is only a scant handful of weeks before I'm due.

This year I think my only resolution is to say 'no' more. I always think I can do so much more than I can realistically do. When an entire life or epic adventure can be lived in a two hour movie, or a six hour book, the time it takes to cook dinner or write and debug a program, begins to seem utterly ridiculous. But ridiculous or unfortunate as it is, the time it takes to do something right is the time that it takes, and excessive optimism just messes up my scheduling, and increases my guilt level when everything doesn't get done. Although I did make it through 33,000 of 50,000 NaNoWriMo words, much more than I thought I would get, but there were a lot of other things in November that didn't get done as a result.
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