I am weaning Rebecca from her morning-noon feedings, so that I can stop pumping at work. The pumping itself isn't so awful, but it takes time, and I have to cary around all this paraphernalia, and I have to wash all these complicated bits and pieces. I hate washing dishes. I could theoretically wean her altogether at this point, we've passed the 'at least one year' recommendation, but this is a first step. It is much harder than I was expecting too, but only for me, Rebecca doesn't seem to care much. I expected it might be slightly uncomfortable, from engorgement, until my breasts adjust. But it isn't that, I have this need to feed Rebecca. Must feed baby. There is a hormonal (I guess) force, that feels like the compulsion of an addiction. Gah! Must feed baby. It is very strange. Like there is bowl of M&M's sitting within arms reach, and you tell yourself you aren't going to eat any, but as soon as your body gets your forebrain distracted by something shiny, your arm reaches out and puts M&Ms in your mouth. Mmm, chocolate - wait, what? Grrr. Must feed baby. If Rebecca was in the room, and I wasn't thinking about it, all of a sudden I would be nursing her. Must feed baby. It puts an entirely different light on all of the jokes, usually cultural, about mother's who are always trying to feed people. Must feed baby. I never realized before that there is a pathway in our brain hard wired to feed babies, and by extension if your pathway is slightly overeager, encourages you to feed everyone. It has been hitting me over the head with a sledge hammer for the past year though, so I'm starting to get the clue. Must feed baby. Clear and obvious evolutionary benefits. Must feed baby. Gah.