Katherine Donaldson (katharos) wrote,
Katherine Donaldson

I'm good at things...

but I don't think I'm good at people... with people. And that's not so great. Because people are what make you happy... who make you happy.

When I was in 6th or 7th grade there was a girl that I was just starting to become friends with. She was nice, I thought she was interesting, presumably she thought there was something interesting about me. Then I went and explained my then current philosophical theories about friendship, that in most (juvenile) friendships it seemed like there was a leader and a follower, and I wanted to attempt an equal friendship where we were both leaders, where we were both going places with independence and following at the same time.

This was apparently completely the wrong thing to do. I must have freaked her out, I don't think she ever talked to me again. Now I know you are only allowed to talk about these things either at 3am or when you are drunk, or with carefully vetted similarly minded people.

Because making friends is not about being honest, at least not at first. It is about subtly finding common ground and showing that you are interesting. Because if you go up to someone and say, "Hey, I think you are so cool! Be my friend!" Then they look at you and think OMG freak! And I would too. So obviously that is the wrong approach. Too bad I suck at/hate first time conversation.

[Edit: Oh yah, the quilt - this is a variation I made up on the disappearing nine patch block. I originally cut the squares for something else, but never got around to that, so I thought I would play with disappearing nines. It is about two thirds done, probably take me another two hours to finish the top, and then it will sit on my project shelf for a year before I get around to quilting it.]

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